Saturday, July 4, 2009

4th of July

Happy Birthday America! It's about time, I've been waiting like 11 or 12 months for your birthday. Remember last year where we did nothing all day and then blew stuff up that night? Man, I love hanging out with you. Happy 233rd birthday.

We are lucky MJ wasn't a fan of America or he would have tried to steal your thunder and die today. Douche.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

More like Ninja Gay-den

Argh! This game is so freakin hard! Why would someone be such a jerk in 1989 and make a game that is this hard?

It's not unusually hard, until you get to the end. Then it's near impossible, unless you have memorized the stupid pattern in an expert manner. Then if you die on the boss you get thrown back like 4 checkpoints! Why!? Why would you do this to me Itagaki!?

I've got a joke.

Why can't a starfish ever find love? Because he's asexual.

or maybe I should have said she is asexual, whatevs.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


Okay, seriously, what is going on?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Can I just play now...

I want to play games now. And not games on my NES or SNES or N64. I want to play 360, no, scratch that. I want to play Halo 3, right now. The Mythic Map Pack came out and I don't have an Xbox to play them on. It's stupid I know, but all I want to do now adays is play.

Well, that being said, let's get real for a bit. I mainly talk about games on this blog which is a problem now that I don't really have newer games to play or anything to play them on. I did watch some skirmish of Halo Wars played the other day. Seemed decent, but maybe I'll start talking about my old skool games I has.

Mario 3 is so stupid hard! I could beat this game in under half an hour as a kid, and now I can't even get to World 8! WTF? You serious? I think the problem is I play the rom of it on my phone and the phone's joypad is nowhere near as responsive as the NES one. I guess I've had to readjust for my phone and can't seem to get back to playing on the original joypad. Stupid Nintendo, stop making cool things. Oh, wait, they did back in 2000. Way to go Miyamoto.

And North Korea... STFU. You launch your own missles, the world launches them back. Get it together or get rid of Kim Jong Ill.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Remember that gopher from 'Caddyshack'?

I was thinking to myself today and this is how it went.

"Self (I call myself 'self' whenever I talk to myself), why in the world do people actually think I (I don't call myself 'self' when I'm talking about me) am listening to them?"

And before self could answer...

"Why can't people realize, like we have (self was very confused at this time), that you don't need to talk all the time. Sometimes a little introspection goes really far. It helps iron out the wrinkles (and non-wrinkles) in my day."

It was at this time self spoke, and I went into a coma.

The doctor said that I wouldn't have made it through the night (as I had been walking naked through the woods in January when I collapsed) had no one found me. I'm sure glad Bigfoot (Sam, or Samson Selina Sasquatch for long) is my friend (story for another time), as self would have been no help.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Rawr rawr rawr*

*means "I love you" in Dinosaur.

Just thought you should know, not that it's important information to you at anytime in the future, more in the past. Imagine waking up tomorrow and you have invented a time machine! Yeah, you woke up to it being invented, in you mind. Then you build it and go back in time, but since this is the first time that time travel has been used, or let alone hypothesized, it has a few problems. Like every movie/tv show/book I have read, time travel never works well for those involved.

So you arrive way later than you imagined you did, like 38 million years earlier, and your machine doesn't work for some reason. Stupid Physics! Curse you! Then you're stuck in the time of dinosaurs, and one inevitably comes up to you and starts growling. Well guess what? You can't communicate with the terrible thunder lizard, and you run screaming untimely into the mouth of another dinosaur. Your time travel days are over as is the human race's.

Now things would have gone a lot smoother if you had known the above phrase right? If you had just said it instead of running, you would be king/queen of the 38 million years ago. You would have had an awesome dinosaur posse that you command with love. Plus with your intricate knowledge of the future (assuming you studied history in school), you would teach them the ways of technology and investment, leading them to invest in IBM and Microsoft eras before anyone else. Making dinosaurs the majority stock-holders for said companies. Dinosaurs never died out and still rule the world... O... M... G... what have I done?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Holy crap...

I just played two games of Halo 3 today, and boy did I suck. Oh man, I haven't played in almost a month, the rust is still in my fingers. Ugh, get it off.